Gotta Laugh At The Queef

Lacking any better system, my browser’s bookmarks tend to fill up with sex-related news and items of interest to post here,whether I’m posting or not. However, when I go missing and don’t post anything for a while, the sheer amount of sex-related bookmarks that I’ve saved to discuss later tends to… well, proliferate like bunnies on Viagra and Clomid. That is, right now, my bookmarks look borderline obsessive. Basically, if anyone comes in the room, I immediately worry whether they are going to check out the contents of my bookmarks sidebar and immediately have me hosed down with cold water, forcefed saltpeter, and made to watch infomercials until my libido moderates. For the good of all concerned, it’s time to clear some of these out.

I don’t need to tell you that sex can be funny if looked at the right way. Anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of deciding to tape themselves having sex and positioned the camera at an unflattering angle (male butts, from the back, fucking away in missionary position are comical… sorry, but it’s true) will know this is true. Back in March, there was an amusing article by Valerie Frankel on MSNBC.com and Self.com on the the joys and fumbles of sex:

Think of the funniest sound in the world. A fart? A burp? Slurp? Squish? Plop? If you don’t make at least three of those noises during sex, you’re not doing it right. How about the silliest positions you could get yourself into? Ankles around your ears? One leg sticking straight up like a cat? On your palms and rear in the air like a camel? Now you see my point: Sex is universally the stuff of comedy.

Sounds familiar to me, as did the embarrassing stories Ms. Frankely shares about her own sexual miscues through the ages. Things happen. Don’t think you’re doing it wrong because you made some noise from places you didn’t think could make noise (boob farts?) or smoothly started juggling a lubed-up toy. The tricky part is deciding in a split second and in the middle of the act itself whether or not to give in to the humor. And remember, even the porn professionals fail comically sometimes.