http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/index/ A smattering of sex, a few episodes of erotica, and current events in the land of the "Make Your Own Dildo Kit" (now only $70 US and available in vibrating and glow-in-the-dark!) en prospero@wordoyster.com Copyright 2008 2008-05-02T17:45:00-05:00 http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/diy/ http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/diy/#When:17:45:00Z Happy Masturbation Month! I’m sure all of you are going to take a “hands on” approach to this. Go ahead. Do it yourself. Get your hands dirty. Wait a minute… Something about that sounds familiar. Hmm… WAit! That’s it! It’s Ms. Frizzle! “Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy!” Anyone too old to get the reference, go back to your Playboy. In keeping with the theme… I’m not posting this video (mainly because I couldn’t get it not to autoplay), but I wanted to give you this sample from the See My Orgasm site. Filled with lots of Flash video, small size, decent quality, suitable for posting or for viewing on your PSP or portable video players, this site features lots of free videos of both men and women masturbating. So, while the video quality may not be as nice as I Feel Myself (this week’s sample) or Beautiful Agony (which only shows faces), visit this one for the hard cocks and cum shots you don’t get on those sites. Anyway, here’s that sample video I wanted you to see. What I love about this one is how this guy’s cock is “down for the count” to start. We get to see him coax it into an erection (kinda like petting a puppy, isn’t it?), do various things with it, and then slowly stroke it to orgasm and ejaculation. And his prostate says, “Amen!” The other masturbation link I have for you to check out also has video, of a sort. Go to Advanced Masturbation and check out the links in the middle of the page under the column “Male Masturbation Techniques.” What you’ll find are small, GIF animation videos of nearly 50 different techniques for male masturbation. I admit, I didn’t need to see the use of the banana skin just after breakfast. However, it was very interesting to see the variety of techniques. You can probably get a few ideas to try out on yourself or on a friend. (Maybe it’s just me, but I think I’d avoid the one with the packing tape on the fingers. Ow.) Lastly, I have the next two weeks of Photo of the Day themes picked out and pre-posted. And yes, they are masturbation-related: Here are the themes for the next few weeks: Toy Time (May 4 to 10) Vibes and plugs and dildos. Oh, my! Polish the Pearl (May 11 to 17) Pick your favorite female masturbation nickname and see these women buffin’ their muffins. I would like to do a male masturbation week after that, but have to admit that I don’t have the photos. If you have any idea where I can find decent male masturbation photos to share, please drop me a line. Clearly, my collecting habits display a heterosexual bias.  Sex news 2008-05-02T17:45:00-05:00 http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/horny/ http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/horny/#When:02:57:00Z I haven’t posted videos before, except in the Meebo room below, but I found this link in my bookmarks and needed to share it. I think I’m actually a bit too old now to be turned on by almost anything the way the narrator in this YouTube video is, but I have fond memories of those days. (Guys, remember seventh or eight grade when something as inconsequential as the exhaust fan turning on in your World History class would give you an erection? I mean, does that make sense? An exhaust fan?) Seeing my first bare female arm of spring made me think of that. The things that make us horny. Sex news 2008-04-29T02:57:00-05:00 http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/haiku/ http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/haiku/#When:03:49:00Z I. stale costume drama made better by popcorn and your hand in my pants. II. tied to none but myself, I point my toes at your touch. the string tugs my balls. III. your mom’s sweater rack? in your room, transformed. last night’s spreader bar! Poetry 2008-04-27T03:49:00-05:00 http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/april_come_she_will/ http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/april_come_she_will/#When:14:59:00Z My mind is in a thousand places today as I try to wrap things up for work and get ready to leave tomorrow on a short, driving vacation ("Gasoline is how much per gallon?"). And naturally, the timing of when things happen is not working out in the least. Why is it that everyone else interprets their deadline for getting work to me as dinnertime, after I’ve presumably stopped working for the day, while I normally try to get them things by midday when they still have time to look at it? You don’t have an answer. Neither do I. May is almost here and you should know by now that May is National Masturbation Month. Which means… it’s almost time for Masturbate-A-Thon 2008. Sponsored by the Center for Sex and Culture, this year’s event takes place in San Francisco on Sunday, May 25. They welcome both participants and spectators, in person and virtual. Spectators pay to watch. Participants masturbate and get sponsored by friends, etc., willing to “pay by the minute.” Money raised goes toward supporting the Center’s educational and sex-positive cultural programming. I thought these stats about last year’s event were interesting: At last year’s event the Longest Time Spent Masturbating award was presented to a man who spent 8 hours and 40 minutes engaged in self-pleasuring; the women’s record has been unbroken since 2004, when a female participant masturbated for 6 hours and 30 minutes. The event’s Most Orgasms Award is held by a woman who came 49 times during the Live London Masturbate-a-Thon in 2006 (filmed for British Channel 4). The distance record, begun last year, is currently 36 inches, held by a male, though in that competition a woman ejaculator came in at second place. You might also want to check out their Wank Blog. I’m not into Twitter, but I am very amused at their suggestion that people share “twittergasms” with the world. That is, since Twitter tells your every move, why not share JOSW ("Jacking off. So what?") or ICSW ("I came. So what?") in real-time? Again, I don’t get Twitter. But, if I did and I commonly told folks that I was doing such mundane things as folding laundry or going shopping for socks, then I’d be all over this. At least in May I would. Sex news 2008-04-18T14:59:00-05:00 http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/between_us_a_girl_part_1_of_3/ http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/between_us_a_girl_part_1_of_3/#When:04:56:00Z She’s younger than you led me to believe. Kristy arrives at the restaurant in the kind of exuberant rush that only comes from one’s twenties. Her face is a little flushed and she is having trouble deciding whether to put her extra large bag down before shaking our hands, or to shake our hands first, or perhaps even give us a hug and a kiss with the bag a less welcome fourth party. As you and I get up, she turns and the black leather bag strikes me firmly in the thigh. “Oops! Shit. Are you OK?” After a laughing apology, she puts the bag down, shakes my hand, and gives you a hug. She then plops down on the seat as if all the wind she has saved up for this occasion has been spent. “What are we drinking?” she asks, patting you on the hand as the two of you scoot into the booth next to one another. “Chardonnay,” I answer, sitting back down. The server brings over another wine glass, fills it, and is gone before any of us notice that we aren’t talking. Silence. Awkward silence. “Look! I brought a toothbrush!” Kristy says suddenly , pulling a red toothbrush from her bag. We all laugh, breaking the spell. Maybe now I can relax. You raise your wine glass and propose a toast. “Here’s to new friends and new experiences!” “And to things that go bump in the night!” adds Kristy, smiling. Not to be outdone, I counter, “And to things that come in threes!” “Threes? You mean like triplets?” Everyone smiles and we drink. But then… “Shortcakes. Or is that six?” “Wise men.” “Pawnbrokers’ balls!” Over our salads, Kristy launches into a lengthy description of her position on Internet censorship, which touches on everything from her email habits to Renoir nudes on the Louvre web site to nude modeling for college art classes when she was still in school to playing with the libidos of the people in the class by walking over to them fully naked between poses and commenting on their work… and finally back to meeting you on the Net. She talks for what must be 15 minutes without stopping, moving from one topic to the next with an ease and rapidity that makes it all seem to make sense at the time. I look over at you and we both open our eyes wide as if to say, “Wow.” We smile and you reach across the table to hold my hand. And so the dinner goes. We talk, laugh, drink more wine. We are sitting in one of those semi-circular booths where the seat wraps around the table. I am sitting on one end; you’re sitting on the other end; and Kristy is sitting back behind the table and between the two of us. There are plants and mirrors along the wall. There is just enough light for me to be able to tell that the tablecloth on our table is mint green. For much of dinner, I feel as if I’ve split into two people. There’s the me that’s continuing to participate in the conversations we’re having — the current one that you started having something to do with movies. But then there’s this other me that’s watching, studying all three of us from some place away from the table. Some part of me is looking at all of us as actors in a play and it’s an odd feeling. What would that other me say about the two of you? I know you bought this deep blue dress especially for tonight. You wouldn’t let me see it until tonight. When I saw you in the restaurant lobby before dinner, it stopped me in my tracks. The dress isn’t overly dressy, but it shows off your legs and your beautiful shoulders. And the color is so nice with your auburn hair. What earrings are you wearing? The red glass ones from last summer’s arts festival. Poor man’s rubies. And then there’s Kristy. She arrived wearing a short cotton slip dress, white with small flowers, and a denim jacket. On her feet are white socks and a pair of clunky black shoes. Her hair is short and dark. In this light, I can’t tell what color her eyes are. Her earrings are silver, with one extra loop passing through an extra hole in one ear. But she’s not such a rebel that she doesn’t shave her legs and pits. She’s not as curvy as you, but she’s definitely not boyish either. Before she sat down, I could tell she had nice round hips and in silhouette her breasts seem full and large for her frame. The two of you make an interesting pair. “Can I have a bite of that?” Kristy asks you during the main course. “I love trout almondine.” But really, I think to myself, what she wants to do is play with your space. She scoots over next to you as you get a piece of fish and some sauce onto your fork. You don’t have to reach the fork out to her, as Kristy leans across the left side of your body toward the fork in your right hand. This move puts her head inches from your face— her hair close enough to smell, her cheek close to your lips— and her upper right arm just brushing your left breast. I take a sip of wine and study your face. Kristy looks up to see that I am watching her and winks. Erotica 2008-04-16T04:56:00-05:00 http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/better_better_a_little_more_to_the_left/ http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/better_better_a_little_more_to_the_left/#When:14:35:00Z I seem to have everyone on the same page this morning! (I know. I was worried all of the new photos were going to go to waste if no one could find them.) There were two, parallel versions of this site running for the last couple of days as I moved everything over to the new blogging software, Expression Engine. So, some folks were seeing the old site with the static pages. And some folks were seeing the new site with a weird orange and yellow design. Neither was the right thing. But I seem to have figured out all of the new tags and have managed to get the homepage back to normal. Comments are still broken as I still need to rework that template for the new tagging. But I’ll try to get that back as soon as I can, bearing in mind that I’m supposed to be working 60 hours this week so I can go away on vacation next week. It’ll all be worth it in the end. At least I am almost confident that when I hit the “Save and publish” button this time, I won’t get a server error telling me to go screw… which is a snapshot of my last umpteen months with my old software. More later. Enjoy the sunshine! Sex news 2008-04-14T14:35:00-05:00 http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/trial_and_terror/ http://www.wordoyster.com/weblog/index.php/site/trial_and_terror/#When:05:22:01Z Well, there’s a bold leap for you. I just deleted my Movable Type and its database. And I’ve installed Expression Engine. And… I have no clue what I’m doing so far. And no time to figure it out before going to bed. Oh, that’s going to give me some pleasant dreams now, isn’t it? Wait. I just managed to import all of my old entries and get the images connected. Sigh! Unfortunately, I don’t have time to figure out how to switch the design template back to what I had before. Too many tags and I have too much to do. At least I got this far.  Sex news 2008-04-10T05:22:01-05:00