Whose Nose Knows?

I'm sure this must have seemed like a good product idea at the time. But have you heard about this new perfume called VULVA Original? According to the German manufacturer, this is an exciting new form of an old scent that "men have been mad about … since time immemorial. Now you can have it anywhere, anytime — with the authentically natural vaginal fragrance, Vulva Original, the sensual accelerator."

Now, for some of us, including Salon.com's Page Rockwell, this brings up more than a few questions:

"But there's something I can't figure out: Who needs this product? The Web site calls the fluid ‘the object of every man's desire,' so it seems it's being marketed to people who want to have sex with men… But if you're a woman, and you want to use the scent of a real vagina to entice a man … you already have a real vagina!! You don't need to buy this! If you're a man who wants to become the object of every man's desire … is the scent of a real vagina really going to attract the kind of guy you're looking for?"

To be fair, the Vulva site seems to suggest that this scent may be intended for straight men who want to smell pussy at some point in their day when they don't have any available, just to get a little libido pick-me-up. Rub a little on the back of your hand and allow Vulva (or should I say, "Vulva, the fragrance") to "beguile the senses with the scent of a real vagina." Or what? Convince the guys at the laundromat that you got lucky between the wash and dry cycles?

Or maybe what we should be thinking is that men are like bloodhounds! And Vulva is like the sample scent they wave in front of the dog's nose before sending him out, sniffling and woofing, to track down the runaway excapee from the chain gang. Which is to say, without a whiff of Vulva before heading out to the clubs, a guy just might get confused and bring home a Shetland pony.

Oh, and if you're saying to yourself, "Why don't they call it Vagina?" then perhaps it's time for you to listen to The Proper Words Song. The sing along starts tonight at 10 o'clock. We'll make s'mores.

Comments:

• how many ways can I say “ew” to the fact that this was actually patented?

  Posted by JeN  on  03/10/06  at  02:22 PM
  
  

• Oh, there aren’t enough ways, really. Although, I suspect that if you actually visited the smelland.com site (and it’s German equivalent) and viewed the photo gallery and especially the video teaser… you might come up with a few more.

  Posted by Prospero  on  03/10/06  at  02:43 PM
  
  

• i think the real purpose of this stuff is to make the plastic smell of the love dolls the makers use as mates less evident.

  the only possible acceptible use i can fathom is for those women who were not born as such, and if that’s the case, great. otherwise? i’m with JeN’s “EW!”

  Posted by mikki_rosie  on  03/10/06  at  07:44 PM
  
  

• Hello

  I have seen your website and I would like to know if you’re interesting to exchange a link with my website caledoshow for a trade

  Site name: CALEDOSHOW

  Url: <a href="http://www.caledoshow.com" rel="nofollow"><a href="http://www.caledoshow.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.caledoshow.com</a></a>

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  Posted by bishop  on  03/18/06  at  10:53 AM
  
  

• Wow. I’m not sure what to think.

  Posted by Debra  on  03/29/06  at  05:10 AM
  
  
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