Take that, Energizer Bunny!

So, yesterday's Sex News Daily reported on the following piece of nifty and yet unnecessary technology. A company called Telco Powered Products is now selling an entire line of small electrical appliances -- lights, radios, razors, cameras, police monitors, etc.-- that use your telephone line as a source of electrical power. Think about it. If you've ever noticed how your phone still works during a blackout, you should be able to see the advantage. The electricity used to power telephones (well, at least the functioning phone part of the phone, realizing that newer phones need an AC/DC adapter to provide all that extra juice for your wireless and your answering machine) is separate from the electrical grid. The telephone company supplies phone lines with a constant, reliable, mostly uninteruptable stream of DC power. And now Telco is selling appliances that run on that DC power. Just plug Telco's razor into your phone jack and shave in the dark, in full knowledge that, while looting and mayhem may be transpiring outside, at least inside you're well groomed.

"But what does this have to do with sex?" Clever of you to ask. Telco is also selling a telephone-powered vibrator to relieve stress (ahem) and "relax your muscles." It has a 7-foot cord, can recharge from the telephone line, and -- just for fun -- it glows in the dark. What more could you want?

Presumably, you can use these devices even when there isn't a blackout and simply freeload off the phone company's power supply. It could finally put a dent in your Duracell budget. As Telco says, "Use it as long as you need to... it's powered by the phone company!"

Hmm. I wonder what happens to that vibrator with Call Waiting?

Wednesday, January 08, 2003