Friday, May 02, 2008
DIY
Happy Masturbation Month! I’m sure all of you are going to take a “hands on” approach to this. Go ahead. Do it yourself. Get your hands dirty. Wait a minute… Something about that sounds familiar. Hmm… WAit! That’s it! It’s Ms. Frizzle! “Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy!” Anyone too old to get the reference, go back to your Playboy.
In keeping with the theme… I’m not posting this video (mainly because I couldn’t get it not to autoplay), but I wanted to give you this sample from the See My Orgasm site. Filled with lots of Flash video, small size, decent quality, suitable for posting or for viewing on your PSP or portable video players, this site features lots of free videos of both men and women masturbating. So, while the video quality may not be as nice as I Feel Myself (this week’s sample) or Beautiful Agony (which only shows faces), visit this one for the hard cocks and cum shots you don’t get on those sites. Anyway, here’s that sample video I wanted you to see. What I love about this one is how this guy’s cock is “down for the count” to start. We get to see him coax it into an erection (kinda like petting a puppy, isn’t it?), do various things with it, and then slowly stroke it to orgasm and ejaculation. And his prostate says, “Amen!”
The other masturbation link I have for you to check out also has video, of a sort. Go to Advanced Masturbation and check out the links in the middle of the page under the column “Male Masturbation Techniques.” What you’ll find are small, GIF animation videos of nearly 50 different techniques for male masturbation. I admit, I didn’t need to see the use of the banana skin just after breakfast. However, it was very interesting to see the variety of techniques. You can probably get a few ideas to try out on yourself or on a friend. (Maybe it’s just me, but I think I’d avoid the one with the packing tape on the fingers. Ow.)
Lastly, I have the next two weeks of Photo of the Day themes picked out and pre-posted. And yes, they are masturbation-related:
Here are the themes for the next few weeks:
- Toy Time (May 4 to 10) Vibes and plugs and dildos. Oh, my!
- Polish the Pearl (May 11 to 17) Pick your favorite female masturbation nickname and see these women buffin’ their muffins.
I would like to do a male masturbation week after that, but have to admit that I don’t have the photos. If you have any idea where I can find decent male masturbation photos to share, please drop me a line. Clearly, my collecting habits display a heterosexual bias. 
Monday, April 28, 2008
Horny
I haven’t posted videos before, except in the Meebo room below, but I found this link in my bookmarks and needed to share it. I think I’m actually a bit too old now to be turned on by almost anything the way the narrator in this YouTube video is, but I have fond memories of those days. (Guys, remember seventh or eight grade when something as inconsequential as the exhaust fan turning on in your World History class would give you an erection? I mean, does that make sense? An exhaust fan?) Seeing my first bare female arm of spring made me think of that. The things that make us horny.
Friday, April 18, 2008
April, Come She Will
My mind is in a thousand places today as I try to wrap things up for work and get ready to leave tomorrow on a short, driving vacation ("Gasoline is how much per gallon?"). And naturally, the timing of when things happen is not working out in the least. Why is it that everyone else interprets their deadline for getting work to me as dinnertime, after I’ve presumably stopped working for the day, while I normally try to get them things by midday when they still have time to look at it? You don’t have an answer. Neither do I.
May is almost here and you should know by now that May is National Masturbation Month. Which means… it’s almost time for Masturbate-A-Thon 2008. Sponsored by the Center for Sex and Culture, this year’s event takes place in San Francisco on Sunday, May 25. They welcome both participants and spectators, in person and virtual. Spectators pay to watch. Participants masturbate and get sponsored by friends, etc., willing to “pay by the minute.” Money raised goes toward supporting the Center’s educational and sex-positive cultural programming. I thought these stats about last year’s event were interesting:
At last year’s event the Longest Time Spent Masturbating award was presented to a man who spent 8 hours and 40 minutes engaged in self-pleasuring; the women’s record has been unbroken since 2004, when a female participant masturbated for 6 hours and 30 minutes. The event’s Most Orgasms Award is held by a woman who came 49 times during the Live London Masturbate-a-Thon in 2006 (filmed for British Channel 4). The distance record, begun last year, is currently 36 inches, held by a male, though in that competition a woman ejaculator came in at second place.
You might also want to check out their Wank Blog. I’m not into Twitter, but I am very amused at their suggestion that people share “twittergasms” with the world. That is, since Twitter tells your every move, why not share JOSW ("Jacking off. So what?") or ICSW ("I came. So what?") in real-time? Again, I don’t get Twitter. But, if I did and I commonly told folks that I was doing such mundane things as folding laundry or going shopping for socks, then I’d be all over this.
At least in May I would. 
Monday, April 14, 2008
Better, Better… A Little More to the Left
I seem to have everyone on the same page this morning! (I know. I was worried all of the new photos were going to go to waste if no one could find them.) There were two, parallel versions of this site running for the last couple of days as I moved everything over to the new blogging software, Expression Engine. So, some folks were seeing the old site with the static pages. And some folks were seeing the new site with a weird orange and yellow design. Neither was the right thing. But I seem to have figured out all of the new tags and have managed to get the homepage back to normal. Comments are still broken as I still need to rework that template for the new tagging. But I’ll try to get that back as soon as I can, bearing in mind that I’m supposed to be working 60 hours this week so I can go away on vacation next week. It’ll all be worth it in the end. At least I am almost confident that when I hit the “Save and publish” button this time, I won’t get a server error telling me to go screw… which is a snapshot of my last umpteen months with my old software. More later. Enjoy the sunshine!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Trial and Terror Revisited
Well, there’s a bold leap for you. I just deleted my Movable Type and its database. And I’ve installed Expression Engine. And… I have no clue what I’m doing so far. And no time to figure it out before going to bed. Oh, that’s going to give me some pleasant dreams now, isn’t it? Wait. I just managed to import all of my old entries and get the images connected. Sigh! Unfortunately, I don’t have time to figure out how to switch the design template back to what I had before. Too many tags and I have too much to do. At least I got this far.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
More Photos
I admit it. I messed up the April Fools theme photos. They didn’t post automatically and I didn’t notice until it was too late. But I’ve got the next month all taken care of ahead of time. So here are the upcoming Photo of the Day theme weeks:
- April Showers (April 6 to 12) Not rain. The other showers. And bathtubs. While it’s raining outside, you might as well get clean.
- Helping Hands (April 13 to 19) Actually, it’s more like helping handjobs. If you get inspired, go help someone with your hands.
- Spring Flowers (April 20 to 26) After April showers, you get May flowers. OK, fine. I’m a week early.
- Say Cheese (April 27 to May 3) Photos taken of themselves. Why else do bathrooms and closet doors have such large mirrors? Last chance to see all of these coeds’ dorm rooms before they go home for the summer.
You may now resume your spring cleaning.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
New Photos, New Words
Where does the time go? As I valiantly try to get back here to do some writing that isn’t just about work and putting meat on the table (just an expression… I’m trying to cut down), I managed yesterday to find a little time to assemble a bunch of new entries for “Photo of the Day.” And just because I thought it might be fun, I’ve decided to run the new photos in themed groups, running Sunday to Saturday.
Here are the themes for the next few weeks:
- Let’s Thaw (March 9 to 15) A nod of the head and a tip of the erection to the arrival of daylight savings time and (hopefully soon) spring (Northern Hemisphere only… if you’re in Australia, you’ll have to make up ways for the photos to go with autumn).
- Go Green (March 16 to 22) More spring, with a little added green flavor because of St. Patrick’s Day.
- Out Like a Lamb (March 23 to 29) Bondage-themed photos in keeping with March going out a little more subdued than it comes in.
- April Fools (March 30 to April 5) Who says sex isn’t occasionally silly or that you can’t see people smile when they’re naked?
If you have any photos you think would fit an upcoming theme and want to share, please send them along and I’ll try to fit them in. Assuming I don’t run off with the first robin I see.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Happy Holidays!
I sent out an email yesterday to lots of my regular readers, wishing them a happy holiday season. But I somehow suspect that the email may have gotten eaten by spam filters, either on the sending side or on the receiving side. So, to the folks I emailed and to the rest of you, here is my holiday greeting for one and all. It’s not safe for work. But then, neither is this site. (On the other hand, I am perfectly safe for work. You may invite me for lunch any old time.)
Friday, November 30, 2007
Hair Today, Goon Tomorrow
Can you believe that November’s almost over? What the hell? I was just getting the hang of August.
I’m sitting here listening to the FoxyFM Live365 station. They just played a couple of very hot erotic stories. They alternate stories and music, all definitely for mature audiences. Of course, right now they’re playing Britney Spears’s I’m a Slave 4 U. And that would be fine and innocuous and barely noticable, but it’s only been one day since the news wires reported the story about Britney’s secret sex room. I’m having a little trouble keeping a straight face. Fur-trimmed handcuffs? Metal bed frame? Schoolgirl outfit? I didn’t burst out laughing until they mentioned that sometimes, she likes to entertain wearing a Cinderella outfit. Oh, my. Anyway, check out the FoxyFM feed sometime. “My neck. My back. Lick my pussy. Lick my crack.” You just don’t get song lyrics like that on public radio.
What other links do I have to share today? There’s an interesting story on Japan’s Wai Wai about people with pubic hair fetishes.
bq. “Nagano went to bars and cabarets and asked hostesses for samples. After plying them with a few drinks, he’d make his pitch, saying, ‘I want your pubic hair.’ Offering a 10,000-yen tip as an incentive, the gals would excuse themselves, slip into the powder room, and return to the table and pass him the goodies… “
And, for the visually inclined, check out the links site NotAboutLove. In the Nudes Portfolios section, you’ll find lots of links to photographers’ web sites… stuff you’re likely to have not run into before. For example, check out the work of photographer Ludovic Goubet. Very nice.
That’s all for now. I have to go have a heart-to-heart discussion with my calendar.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Two Steps Forward, Fall in Hole
I honestly don’t mind tinkering with Web sites as a rule. HTML, CSS, and all of these funky little Movable Type tags are a nice distraction from my usual work, which is more along the lines of stringing together nouns, verbs, adjectives, and the occasional misplaced adverb. But I much prefer to have a choice about how much Web site tinkering I’m going to do and when.
Which brings me to October, 2007. The host server for _Word Oyster_ got hit with a denial of service attack at the end of September. This prompted my service provider to move me to a new server, put up some more and different protection, and so on. Sounds like a good idea, right? Except that they hosed my database in the process and installed a newer version on the new server. Bottom line? One year after having to rebuild the site from the ground up… I’m having to do it again.
So, that’s where I’m at. I’m on a new server. I’ve switched to a better database. I’ve made the leap up to Movable Type 4. I’ve reimported all of my old entries. The site won’t rebuild properly, which is making me a bit insane and is leaving me with this generic design, not my own.
It’s a work in progress. Thanks for the encouragement.
Recent Entries
DIYHorny
Haiku
April, Come She Will
Between Us, A Girl (Part 1 of 3)
Better, Better… A Little More to the Left
Trial and Terror Revisited
More Photos
Wake Up, Sleepers
New Photos, New Words
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Fascinated by language, drawn to art, and utterly amused by everyone's naughty bits. Beyond that, I'm hundreds of years old and I live on an island. Read the play.
