Monday, March 12, 2007
Be A Doll, Would You?
Sex dolls. Love dolls. Dutch wives. Realdolls. Candy Dolls. Time, sexual fantasy, and silicon march ever onward. If Thomas Alva Edison were alive today, perhaps he would be helping Matt figure out how to get better audio-animatronic action out of his Realdolls. (VERY creepy seeing these headless torsos hanging around the shop on chains, but I do understand those dolls are heavy.)
Anyway, I wasn’t planning to revisit my passing mention of sex dolls from my earlier futanari story, but this recent news story on sex dolls caught my eye. The article confuses the inflatable dolls with the silicon dolls a bit, but here’s the important novelty: sex doll rental. Yes, apparently you can rent an inflatable doll in a gym bag, ready to travel and blow up, or you can rent a room that already has a silicon sex doll waiting there for you.
I can’t read Japanese, but I did find this company that both sells and rents dolls with a very hentai look. They are all available with small, medium, or large boobage. And really, it’s worth the visit to their site just to see the Flash video demonstration of hands squeezing those silicon breasts.
And how much does it cost to own those squeezable breasts? If you have to ask, you probably need to borrow on your 401k. Of course, if all you’re after is something to squeeze or boink, Realdoll sells headless dolls as well. $1500 will get you everything from the neck down to just below the hip bone (no arms, no head, no legs). Or, if you’re really maxed out on online poker, $1000 gets you… well, just above the bellybutton to just below hip bone. Five skin tones. Available natural, trimmed, or shaved. Eww. Way too Boxing Helena for my taste.
Of course, there are those of us who have grown up with the amusing thought, if not the gaping-mouthed under $35 reality of the more traditional blow-up dolls. For you, I offer the instant nostalgia of video instruction on how to date a blow-up doll.
Or blow-up goat.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Hole in the Sky
Maybe you've already heard, but apparently anal sex among heterosexuals is becoming more commonplace. Gasp! I mean, they're even talking about it on MSNBC, where they called the steady increase a sure sign of the passing of lovemaking's last taboo. This most recent backside brouhaha can be traced to a recent report from the Center for Disease Control (CDC), which found that 38 percent of men and 33 percent of women are now reporting that they are engaging in heterosexual anal sex. This is a considerable increase over a CDC study from the mid-1990s. Interestingly enough, the research plan was never updated to ask about how much female-to-male penetration is now going on. And we know that's increasing, too. For a more detailed look, read Em & Lo's New York Magazine article, The Bottom Line.
And part of the increase in female-to-male penetration maybe isn't so much inspired by the prevalent male-on-female anal sex in porn, but by... a willingness to experiment, to be more active in knowing what's pleasurable to the other person. Not all of the female-to-male is strap on play. There's also prostate massage in which a finger is inserted (gently, and with a generous, loving amount of lube, thank you) into the man's rectum and then used to massage his prostate. If you haven't given it a try,you'll find some instruction at Abby's Sexual Health. And, if you're more visual, you can always view this male prostate stimulation instructional video from our friends at Sex is Fun. It's an odd, almost scary 3D animation of how to manually stimulate the male prostate gland with either a finger or with an Aneros toy.
Speaking of anal, I have a video recommendation. Tristan Taormino, the Anal Ambassador, is anything but an underachiever. Now she's directing porn! And I just saw her second feature, Chemistry, Volume 2, and want to recommend it to you. This falls into the category of "gonzo porn" which, in this case, means it's like a porn version of "Real World" with 8 porn stars living in the same house for a couple of days... and doing whatever they want with whomever they want. Oh, and then talking about it to the camera. Anyway, the actors are nice looking, not fake, and the sex is varied and hot (including -- ta-dah! -- a scene at the end where the woman gives the guy a handjob while sliding a vibrator in and out of his ass). So, check that out.
And, finally, if you are trying to or thinking about trying to include male-to-female anal penetration in your sexual repertoire, check out these Anal Sex Tips from Women. These are true stories and recommendations from real women... and they should know.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Not Too Late!
Just in case you're still looking for some reason not to write off this entire Valentine's Day. Here's a very cool way for those of you not graphically inclined to create and send personalized pictures. You can carve your message in a tree trunk, or write it on a candy heart, a street sign, a theater marquee. Or you can have your entire gooey poem written in the shape of a heart!Take Google Maps and combine it with love nostalgia. What do you get? Well, you could get Where I Had My First Kiss, a site where you can put a pushpin in the location of your first-ever kiss and then tell everyone the story, good or bad. Mine's there.
And finally, for those a little more cynical about the entire love thing, have a look at this episode of the online comic, Copper. Ouch.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Better Than Lupercalia
Another year, another Valentine's Day. I humor myself (as I am suffering over what to send to this person or that) thinking that at least this isn't the most invented, just-for-Hallmark holiday. Mother's Day isn't quite 150 years old. Father's Day may not even be 100 years old. And not even the grandparents take Grandparents Day seriously. And really, how can you hate something that provides an excuse for otherwise dull people to let loose more chocolate, more lingerie, more edible body paint, and more sex toys into their dreary winter world? Besides, we need something that's guaranteed to make all of those middle school kids miserable.If you haven't received a personal piece of junk email from me today wishing you well, then you can see the same message here: Happy Valentine's Day!
Or forget the silly holiday and just focus on spring and renewal. You know, fucking 'til it thaws stuff. As for love and desire? Those could just be chemistry. Or knowing the right place to touch. Or maybe just a pressing need to forget about your To Do list for a few minutes.
Personally, today (as the snow is piling up outside my window) I prefer to see Valentine's Day as a diversion. I'm hoping for a card or two, some email, and the promise that this weekend I'll have a night with a certain someone that includes champagne, chocolate, and some red bondage tape. Hope your day holds promise as well!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Monkey in Me
It's been almost two weeks since my last animal story link. Aha! But this one has some possible relevance to the The MILF Syndrome discussion going on over at lazy geisha earlier this week. Anthropolgists studying chimpanzees at the Kibale National Park in Uganda have found that male chimps really prefer older females:bq. Male chimps compete intensively and even fight over the oldest females, while the youngest female chimps have to work harder to get masculine attention. "It's really dramatic because it's not just that the old chimps are avoiding the youngest adult females. They actually have a strong preference for the older mothers," said anthropologist Martin Muller at Boston University.
Compared to younger females, older females were more likely to be approached for copulation, associated with males more often during estrous periods, copulated more frequently with high-ranking males, and gave rise to higher rates of male-on-male aggression during mating period. "The males fight over them more," Muller said. "They don't have to do anything to get the males interested. The males find them."
Scientists believe that, once again, this behavior is linked to the males wanting to sire progeny. Unlike humans, female chimps do not go through menopause; they are fertile their entire lives. And, as they get older, the more mature females have higher social status in the chimp group, have access to more and better food, which means they are more fertile than the younger females. Researchers add:
bq. "Chimpanzee males may not find the wrinkled skin, ragged ears, irregular bald patches, and elongated nipples of their aged females as alluring as human men find the full lips and smooth complexions of young women, but they are clearly not reacting negatively to such cues."
Or maybe the sex is just better. Then again, it looks a little rushed.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Jingle Balls
In case you missed it during your late December holiday preparations (sugar cookies, dreidel carving, yule log toting...), you should know that I won the S Spot Xmas Cock Contest! No, really. Shay sent me this nifty winner's icon yesterday. And I also won the fabulous prize (30 minutes of online porn), which she has promised to send shortly. In the spirit of the Golden Globes and upcoming Academy Awards, I just want to thank the little people behind the scenes who made this possible: the font designers, the folks who worked so hard on Photoshop, and the anonymous stock photographers. You're never too old to live your dream. Sniff!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Are the Stars Out?
blink once and you're gone
Perhaps it's a myopic conclusion.
but memories of my life in sex
seem best approached
sideways and nonchalant.
To me, they only appear in focus
when I look at them askance,
almost from the corner of my eye.
It's like trying to catch sight
of the Pleiades head on,
the particulars only fade when faced down.
For the most part, I remember the facts.
I know the first breast I bussed.
I can easily picture her pale pink nipples
and the gaudy plaid of her parents' couch.
I remember the song that was playing
when she pulled off her top.
But, beyond that, there
on the tip of a smile, both skin and cloth
quickly fade into a ball of fuzz
east of Taurus,
the poignant snort of a bull.
And, of course, my first orgasm
is the stuff of myth --
epic and embellished
in the retelling.
Perhaps the facts of that late night episode aren't facts.
Perhaps the Odyssey wasn't as grand as all that
and my own sticky scared confused joy of an instant
was less than I think, more than I know.
Even the first pussy I poked
is lost in a nebula of subsequent history --
whisky of the dueling seduction,
the big bang of unintended disdain,
explosive distance and then our eventual reconstitution
as old friends. (I must admit,
there are several stars in that constellation.)
You see, while I know it takes 440 years
for light to travel from the Pleiades
just to play tricks on my eyes.
I can only suspect that the distance
between my heart and my brain,
between my cock and my memory,
is much less yet also far less direct.
And while I can't quite see them,
I know that around those stars dance
a host of nearly invisible suitors,
a hundred beaus for each of Seven Sisters,
a thousand kisses for each beau,
a million ways that each time I push into you
and hear you sigh and let go
it is both old and new.
In semi-darkness and without my glasses,
I see what I don't see:
bottle of lube, pack o' Pills.
candle, book, sheen of sweat.
hair falling across your face.
our fingers, white-knuckled, entwined.
the dent of my weight
pushing your wrists into the mattress.
Which way do I look
to see the memory beginning?
Which way do I look
to keep from seeing it end?
# # # # #
Hear this poem read aloud...
Hear this poem read aloud...
Friday, January 05, 2007
Where did THAT come from?
Clearly I'm not getting out enough online. I know I haven't perused the Usenet alt.erotica.images area for a while. So maybe I saw these hentai images before and they never registered. Or maybe I've just become more aware of odd body parts due to all of the two penises and two vaginas stories (more today!). Either way, I don't remember seeing so many "dick girls" comics at one time before last night. Maybe it's something in the water. Like mercury.For those who don't already know, dickgirls or futanari is a sub-set within the hentai world and has more than its share of fans, blogs, etc. A dickgirl is just what it sounds like: a girl with a penis. Sometimes she has testicles, often not. Sometimes she actually is a girl who has a penis and is just trying to get through her day in her short skirt. But many times she's just a normal anime girl. Well, she's normal except that, when she gets sexually excited for the first time, her clit suddenly starts growing to the point where it becomes this enormous, juicy, veiny cock. Which, of course, is a complete surprise to her! "Oh, my! What ever will I do with this thing?"
* I can't believe I'm five days into the year and haven't mentioned animals yet. I can fix that. Naturally, if a human can have two penises, then animals can, too. Take reptiles for example. Check out the forked snake penis with the spiky things and tell me that doesn't remind you of something you've seen in a sex toy store. If you think the reptiles are odd, check out the marsupials and the echidna's amazing four-headed penis.
* And, while not the same as two vaginas, you can also read about the case of a woman in England who had a double uterus and gave birth to triplets -- one baby from one uterus, and two from the other.
* Finally, since all of your New Years resolutions can't be about losing weight and using more lubricant, why not tweak the things you eat in order to keep the blood flowing to all of the right erectile tissue? Zinc and calcium. Yum.
* OK. Fine. Nothing much here to satisfy your prurient interests. I guess you'll just have to listen an a gratuitious orgasm so you don't feel I've wasted your time.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Preaching Like a Virgin
While I was away, researchers at New York's Guttmacher Institute released a study saying that, not only do most Americans today have premarital sex, but so did our parents and grandparents. I mention this because I just got off the phone with my mother, who decided to spend our long-distance minutes telling me how girls and young women today are fooling themselves thinking that they can "just go out and have sex like the boys." Then, as my eyes hit the back of my skull, she started telling me about this enzyme "they've found" that gets released by the female body when it has sex and how that makes the woman become immediately and irrevocably (yes, tragically) attached to "the man" she's had sex with (please... I didn't even attempt to get into what happens if it's another girl). So, in memory of my grandparents, whom I know for a fact were doing all sorts of things in back of the dancehall before they were married, I decided to mention how the Guttmacher researchers found that, for every generation over the past 80 years, 35% or more of people may have said premarital sex was wrong, but those same people were going out and having premarital sex at a rate of 90 to 95%. The only major difference over the last 50 years is that the average age of first intercourse has dropped from 20 to 17.5 years old. (Not surprisingly, the average age of a girl's first period has fallen about three years in the same span of time.) Anyway, it was about that point in the call that my mother started telling me about all the rain they've been having down South and how she thinks there's a possum living under the house again.* I was hoping Scienceline would dispel the myth as they answered the question, "Why do guys get sleepy after sex?" I've become such a nightowl that I usually get up out of bed after sex, even if it's after midnight. If I've done a good job, she's usually asleep before I've made it down the hallway to get some water.
* Today's fine art recommendation is the online portfolio of a French digital artist who goes by the name Calirezo. Fans of anime will love what she does with the eyes of the photographs she adapts, paints, alters with Photoshop and her graphics tablet. I liked the group of images based on the work of Gustav Klimt. For kicks, poke around in her links section.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Let’s Try This Again
Hello from my little land of limbo! (That would be the "existential void" variety of limbo, not the "dance under a stick" limbo. Just wanted you to be clear on my preference. So, if you hear someone ask, "How low can Prospero go?" you'll know it means blog entries on gerbil stuffing and not something done after four too many mango daiquiris.) I am sure that someone out there must have missed my ability to engage in lengthy parenthetical asides. If not, I'm crushed. (Me. too.)I think I've managed to get my site back up and running. It took a while. I really lost most everything in the crash and server switch. I managed to find some files that I could use to slowly reconstruct my archives. But I lost my design template. So Word Oyster is back with a new look. More sophisticated, a little too pastel perhaps, but it's working... so don't look a gift CSS in the mouth.
* For a little fun, visit The Sun Online and try to spot the bogus boobs. I got 8 out of 10 correct. And I'm going on record that, based on the photo shown, I think Myleene Klass's breasts are real.
* Perhaps "find the pussy in the flower" photos are too predictable and maybe they have been done to death. But I think you'll find Floramagica by Hermann Forsterling some of the best you've seen. Click the thumbnails and then click the slightly larger version to get the largest preview. I would love to put a poster-sized version of that purple flower on my living room wall and watch to see who does a double-take.
* And finally, I know I've discussed men having two penises on here before. But now there was this story in Esquire called What It Feels Like... To Have Two Vaginas. Oh, the possibilities!
That's all for now. I hope everyone had a lovely New Years Eve and New Years day and that each and every one of you has a wonderful 2007. Onward!
Photo of the Day
Recent Entries
DIYHorny
Haiku
April, Come She Will
Between Us, A Girl (Part 1 of 3)
Better, Better… A Little More to the Left
Trial and Terror Revisited
More Photos
Wake Up, Sleepers
New Photos, New Words
Archive Calendar
| May 2008 | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
Archives by Date
May 2008April 2008
March 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
Search Me!
Subscribe!
Members
LoginRegister
Member List
About me
ProsperoMassachusetts
Fascinated by language, drawn to art, and utterly amused by everyone's naughty bits. Beyond that, I'm hundreds of years old and I live on an island. Read the play.
Email
Links
