Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Whackin’ Jackson
One doesn't have to wonder what was on singer Jackson Browne's mind back in the early 70's. Out fluffing up interest in his latest album, Jackson was asked by The Guardian whether his 1973 song, "Red Neck Friend," was about masturbation. "No, no, that's wrong! It's anatomically correct, but not in terms of the particular activity. It's clearly a song about wanting to introduce this girl to my red-neck friend. But 'Rosie' —now that's about masturbation." The interviewer seemed confused, so Jackson continued. "Yeah. Y'know, Rosie Palm and her five sisters? People have listened to that song and loved it for years without knowing that. My mother, who listens to lyrics very thoughtfully, said to me, 'I've finally figured out what that song's about,' and I'm thinking, 'Oh shit.' She said: 'It's about wine, isn't it? Rose? Am I right?' So I really appreciate that my mother didn't get all the way there imagining that." I think we're all happy that our mothers don't go there.AND if you've still got time to kill, you can think about all of those other songs about masturbation or peruse Markelle's list of masturbation euphemisms.
Menage a moi?
Monday, March 10, 2003
The Tassles Spin Again
The most recent Village Voice has an interesting article by Tricia Romano on the revival of burlesque in the United States. From the time burlesque and its supposedly higher-brow sister vaudeville invaded the U.S. in the mid-1800s, burlesque was —and is —an entertainment form where revealing less and teasing more is the challenge. This doesn't mean you won't be entertained or aroused by burlesque. The reverse strips, fan dances, pasties with spinning tassles are classics enjoyed for generations. But the new women of burlesque are in charge of their own acts. And these college-educated women with backgrounds in dance and theater are changing the old stocking-peeling, bump-and-grind act and giving it a smart new edge.Why now? Romano writes that perhaps the burlesque revival isn't just about our hunger for nostalgia. Facing a bad economy and an inevitable war, people may be recreating the escapist activities of the World War II era. Murray Hill, a drag performer and host of burlesque shows, said, "It's escape. Escape can be $10 at a movie and you don't get a drink. [With burlesque,] you can spend $5 and drink and smoke all night."
If you happen to be in New York City and want to see just how these performers are reinventing burlesque for the 21st century, there's the first annual New York Burlesque Festival. On May 24th, "burlesque bombshells from LA, Seattle, San Francisco, New Orleans, Canada, Philadelphia, Boston and more take over two floors of lower Manhattan's Knitting Factory for a night of titillating performance and debauchery." And that's followed closely by the return of Burlesque at the Beach, which goes on all summer at Coney Island. (If you make it to that last site, be sure to check out Laure Leber's "Backstage Burlesque" online photo exhibit.)
Remember, Gypsy, "If you wanna make it, twinkle while you shake it."
Friday, March 07, 2003
Skin: The human body in art
There's a nice art exhibit at the Icebox Gallery in Minneapolis. "Skin" is a two-part, juried exhibit of multi-media art works featuring the human body. Ranging from predictable soft focus nudes to Photoshop layer melding, the exhibit is kinda tame, but still worth a gander.Icebox Gallery is small, so the 112 pieces chosen for display have been divided into two parts. "Skin Part 1" runs through April 19; "Skin Part 2" runs from May 3 to June 14. However, all 500 entries are either available now or will be available on the gallery's Web site.
Ouch!
Dr. W. Gifford Jones, writing this morning for Kingston This Week, seemed happy to report that there's new help for men with a fractured penis.
Yes, yes… I know it doesn't have any bones that can break, but you can in fact fracture an erect penis. Take, for example, the fellow who was making love to his partner standing up. She was so into it —or he was so good —that the woman fainted dead away mid-thrust. The guy was too surprised to catch her; she fell, taking his erect penis down with her. Snap! Read the article for more interesting stories about how such accidents happen.
A fractured penis bleeds internally. There's a lot of swelling and pain, and sometimes surgery is required to remove blood clots. And what's worse ("There's worse??!!") is that 90 percent of the men who fracture their penis are left with a permanent upward bend, which causes pain any time they get an erection and that makes sex painful. The new treatment involves using the same shock wave therapy used to treat kidney stones. Doctors have been able to reduce the scarring and thereby reduce the bend.
So, if you're into that trapeze sex… don't miss!
Thursday, March 06, 2003
Best Bottoms Bar None
Spin Magazine's April issue is being called the Ultimate List Issue: 115 Lists on Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll! From lists of "The 40 Best Artists Making Music Now" to "7 Rock Stars with Bad Teeth," the issue is an exercise in fun right out of High Fidelity.Here's Spin's list of Top Ten Best Butts:
- Kylie Minogue
- Jack White of the White Stripes
- J. Lo
- Beyonce Knowles
- Lenny Kravitz
- Britney Spears
- D'Angelo
- Fabrizio Moretti of The Strokes
- Brandon Boyd of Incubus
- Andrew 3000 of OutKast
Umm… I'd like to cast my vote for Lena of t.A.T.u. (I know, I know. t.A.T.u. is a guilty pleasure of mine. But I really don't mind being mind-fucked by a Russian shrink as long as the beat is good and everyone is having fun. Kinda like the Monkees with boobs.)
There’s an attractive couple
The Web news site, Iafrica.com, reports that Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci will play lesbian lovers in a movie called Monster. In the movie, Theron plays serial killer, Aileen Wournos, who killed 7 men in Florida in 1989 and 1990.Ricci portrays Wournos's lover. Ricci said this about the part: "I'm pretty… naked. My agent persuaded me to go for it. She keeps saying, 'You have beautiful breasts.'"
I'll wholeheartedly agree with the agent. But does anyone know if Christina has gained back any of that weight she lost? She was kinda "Lara Flynn Boyle scary- skinny" when she was on those last Ally McBeal episodes. I worry about her. I do.
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
We’re Not Worthy!
When it comes to contraception, I think we're all there for maximum choices, comfort, ease of use, less fumbling around in the dark, etc. And perhaps no contraceptive method of the last 20 years has taken on such an mythic aura ("the once and future contraceptive?") as the Today Sponge.
About 250 million Sponges were sold from 1983 to 1995. Women liked the Sponge because it wasn't as potentially risky as the Pill, was easier to insert and remove than a diaphragm, didn't limit sensitivity for either partner, could be bought over the counter and kept handy… and could be inserted well in advance of having sex. Lord knows everyone hates that "I'll be right back!" moment.
But in spite of its popularity, the Sponge was taken off the market in 1995 due to manufacturing issues with the original pharmaceutical company. Women made an immediate run on stores and hoarded whatever Sponges they could find. (This was the subject of the famous Seinfeld episode where Elaine hoards Sponges and tries to make them last by not having sex with a man unless she finds him "Sponge-worthy.")
After 8 years, the Sponge has finally found a new manufacturer. Backorders are shipping to Sponge-philes and will start hitting store Canadian store shelves in April. Sales in the U.S. may have to wait another year. In the meantime, you might try getting them via mail order.
Monday, March 03, 2003
Lucky dog, lucky dog!
Hot off the wire at Reuters. An artist in Berlin has decided to open a brothel for sex-starved dogs. For a rate of about $27 per half hour, your pooch will be able to get it on with some of the house hunds. The establishment will feature "employees" of both sexes, rooms for those usually not-so-private encounters, and even a "bar" area where customers can meet and greet by sniffing each others' butts."But why???" you're asking yourself. The originator, Karl-Friedrich Lenze, claims that "If dogs can't get what they want, they get cranky —just like people." Well, Karl, if you think the dogs who can have sex are cranky, you may want to set up another bar next door for the spayed and neutered.
Hmm. Does anyone know where I can get my gerbils laid?
Friday, February 28, 2003
Playing for Peace
While perhaps not as much fun to contemplate as the thousands of women and men taking off their clothes around the world just to lie down in the grass and spell out messages of peace, the Lysistrata Project is perhaps the nicest mass artistic response to the impending war I've heard so far.
This Monday, people in every state in the United States and in 48 other countries will be staging readings of Aristophanes' 411 BC play, "Lysistrata." As of this morning, the project coordinators know of 807 separate readings worldwide, ranging from big productions with famous actors to normal people like you and me gathering to read the play aloud with friends in their living rooms.
If you don't know the basic plot of "Lysistrata," the play is about how the women of ancient Athens and Sparta grow tired of their men always warring against each other. So the women get together and conspire to withhold sex until the men come to their senses:
"By the two Goddesses, now can't you see
All we have to do is idly sit indoors
With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks,
Our bodies burning naked through the folds
Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet the men
With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat.
Their stirring love will rise up furiously,
They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time!
We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off —
And they will soon be rabid for a Peace.
I'm sure of it."
Run out and buy yourself a copy of "Lysistrata." I got mine years ago at a used book store for 50 cents. It even has illos by Norman Lindsay! And then get to a reading Monday!
Not a Grande idea
Yesterday's Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported that Playboy magazine is looking to do a "Women of Starbucks" photo spread in a Fall/2003 issue. Interested female employees of Starbucks are invited to apply by April 1.
However, the company with the mermaid logo (and we know those mermaids always kept their tops on) is most definitely not amused with Playboy's plans. "Starbucks is not affiliated with this project and does not endorse it," the company announced. A lawsuit is likely.
And be sure to tell your favorite barista to check her employment agreement. Who knows what's lurking in there?
Photo of the Day
Recent Entries
Between Us, A Girl (Part 3 of 4)You’re Mumbling
Redacted in NY State
This and Mostly That
Between Us, A Girl (Part 2 of 4)
DIY
Horny
Haiku
April, Come She Will
Between Us, A Girl (Part 1 of 4)
Archive Calendar
| November 2008 | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 |
| 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 |
| 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
| 30 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
Archives by Date
September 2008June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
June 2007
Search Me!
Subscribe!
Members
LoginRegister
Member List
About me
ProsperoMassachusetts
Fascinated by language, drawn to art, and utterly amused by everyone's naughty bits. Beyond that, I'm hundreds of years old and I live on an island. Read the play.
Email
Links
