Wednesday, April 09, 2003
Dream Lover
And when was the last time you got ravished in your sleep by that cute clerk at the grocery or were able to have sex with your girlfriend while holding her suspended in mid-air (which you know damned well is physically impossible)? There's a nice article today at the Cornell Daily Sun on sex dreams. Health columnist Alexis Munoz describes the different types of sexual dreams — after sharing one of her own.For more thoughts on sex dreams, see Answers to Frequently Asked Questions About Sexual Dreams, based on Dr. Gayle Delaney's book, Sensual Dreaming. Did you know that women have wet dreams? AND — wait, there's more — Delaney says men have most of their wet dreams at age 18, but women don't peak until up around the age of 40.
Alexis, it only gets better from here.
Monday, April 07, 2003
Making Adolescence Suck Less
Even though Word Oyster is clearly an adult site and there shouldn't even be any teens here ("HEY, you! Shouldn't you be over at The N?"), I'm going to go ahead and recommend the SEX, ETC. site.SEX, ETC. is an award-winning national newsletter and Web site that is written by teens, for teens, on teen sexual health issues. And while SEX, ETC. is sponsored by the Network for Family Life Education at Rutgers University, it truly is a teen-centric, teen-generated project. Scarleteen is, without a doubt, a more polished Web site. On the other hand, they aren't asking you to participate, contribute art, photos, or writing. Take your pick.
Now, go on, you guys. Stop looking at the dirty pictures and go. I'm waiting.
Friday, April 04, 2003
Dinosaurs Win Vote 26-21
Itching to become our country's new Alabama, the North Dakota state Senate voted today to keep a 113-year old law on the books that makes it a crime for unmarried couples to live together. Why? Well, I'll bet you didn't know that cohabitation is closely akin to real sex crimes, such as rape and incest. The estimated 11,000 unmarried couples in the state can only be encouraged by the fact that the law is rarely enforced — unless your landlord gets pissed off at you, unless your old boyfriend doesn't like the new guy you moved in with, and so on.However, perhaps not all of the 11,000 couples need to worry. Such an old law left a small loophole. It only refers to one person living with another person of the opposite sex. "Liberty and Union Now and Forever…"
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Sperm Got Noses?
Just out on Reuters, it seems that a German scientist has discovered that human sperm get turned on when exposed to the scent of lily of the valley. That is, when sperm are exposed to the active chemical compounds found in the lily of the valley aroma, the sperm double their swimming speed and seem to show a surprising ability to home in on the source of the aroma. Hans Hatt, biology professor at Ruhr University, said that knowing sperm have an odor receptor may lead to new ways of boosting fertility and aiding conception.Just one problem. How do you get the odor on the egg? I'll wait. You should now be flashing on a mental picture of those little ladies in high-end department stores, offering to spray anyone who passes by with perfume. "Excuse me. Could you stop rolling by long enough to try a spritz of this special new scent? We call it 'Irrestible' and that's just what you'll be, believe you me, sugar. If you think the Fallopian tubes are lonely… well, the things they don't tell you. Try this, hon. You'll be mixing genetic material in no time!"
Monday, March 31, 2003
Poem for April, No Fooling
thirty-second flavor over Tokyo
the taste of your taste
is a sideways glance,
a pitch long into nuance,
a bit of salt and sugar,
lemon and sweat.
and the touch of that taste
is like the smooth slime
of an oyster
or the sweet skin
of a peeled concord grape —
the green under the purple,
the slick under the smooth.
burrowing in, I find
your center has become hard,
an uncooked pea
rolling gently
beneath a warm fruit roll-up,
bobbing like a float in the pond
where waves come
from breath on water,
from sounds rasping in air,
from exaltations reaching up from sheets
wet with communion
all cries breaking through the green vault
to the blue sky and on
to the heavens where God
hears its name
spoken again and again
with breathless love
and the resonance
of bare wooden floors.
afterwards, we bask
in a secular snack
of ice cream
and wet pink kisses.
echos, movements still circle below...
swirl, fudge swirl,
smacking of lips.
How ‘Bout Them Icecubes?
I suppose we've all heard tales in school of subliminal messages in advertising. You remember. Naked women in ice cubes, the word "sex" hidden in random arrangements of dots, the words "Drink Coke" flashed for a millisecond to moviegoers in theaters so that they would get up and run to the concession stand, not knowing why. Today's Adweek examines whether subliminal ads are real or urban myth.Why now? Well, did anyone take a look at the Chivas Regal ad on the back cover of the Sports Illustrated 2003 swimsuit edition? Didn't make it that far? I didn't see the magazine, but I think I understand. Anyway, the advertising agency handling the Chivas Regal ad decided to have a little fun with the so-called myth of subliminal messages. The tag line reads, "Some see a naked woman in the ice cubes. Others simply see the need for more Chivas." Except that, this time, they actually did hide a naked woman within one of the ice cubes in the partly empty glass of scotch. (No, the photo shown here is not theirs. This is something I whipped up. If you look closely, I think you can also see a Husky dog and Donald Rumsfeld's left butt cheek.)
Honk If You Have Polyurethane
They may not have that Old World charm, but Italy's parking lots of love are a sentimental throwback to simpler days of sex gone by. Town officials in the Tuscan village of Vinci (yes, that Vinci) are renovating a parking lot for the sole purpose of providing a place for young couples to go, park, and have sex. "We're just recognizing that young people love each other," said Mayor Giancarlo Faenzi. In Italy, sex in cars is not illegal as long as the windows are covered.The town will be providing safe but subdued lighting —and special trash cans for used condoms. Given the size of the cars, perhaps the town should also provide a chiropractor.
Getting Under Your Skin
Interesting article this weekend in Canada's National Post about sex-related allergies. Allergic reactions to latex condoms can start with a rash, but escalate with exposure to sneezing, swelling, itching, hives, and perhaps even wheezing, fainting, or shock. With condoms unavoidable, some had turned to natural membrane condoms — until they found out these animal-derived products did not protect against either HIV or STDs. As one woman relates in the article:"I know it's ridiculous, but I just couldn't get past it," she says. "Discussing sex and birth control is awkward enough without having to say, 'Honey, could you wear two condoms please, and oh yes, one of them has to be made from the innards of a dead animal.' Why couldn't I just be allergic to milk?"
Luckily, there are now polyurethane condom alternatives (e.g. Avanti and Reality). But latex allergy isn't the only sex-related allergy. Some people are actually allergic to semen and sperm which, for those trying to get pregnant (or pretending HIV doesn't exist in their little world), can mean either infertility problems or something as severe as vomiting (no, really… it's an allergy) or a loss of consciousness.
"New! Viagara now comes with Benadryl. Last longer, wheeze less!"
Friday, March 28, 2003
Dorothy Would’ve Watched
As if Kansas hadn't gotten enough of a black eye during the years of creationism versus evolution debates, now the Kansas state senate has passed a bill threatening to withhold funding from any public university department that purchases obscene material for use in classes. At issue is a popular sexuality class at the University of Kansas taught by Prof. Dennis Dailey. Upset that Dailey shows pictures of genitalia in his class and tells female students to go home and explore themselves as homework, Republican Sen. Susan Wagle brought an amendment to the state senate, which passed on a 24-13 vote. "I think what is going on in this undergraduate class is obscene, and I want to make this type of activity not funded by the taxpayer," Wagle said. That's right, Susan. Those undergrads need to look at genitalia on their own nickels.Hmm. Don't you think the citizens of Kansas might want to reconsider how their taxpayer money is being spent paying state senators to debate such nonsense? And then, well… methinks someone needs to give Rep. Wagle a handheld mirror, a diagram, and some appropriate homework.
Monday, March 24, 2003
Make that two tubes of sunscreen
With the spring thaw taking hold, I'm finally able to seriously consider warm weather activities. And just in time, AskMen.com has provided us with a list of Top 10 Nude Beaches. From Gunnison Beach in New Jersey to Cap d'Agde in France to Mazo Beach on the Wisconsin River, writer Peter Fuelier gives you his picks for the world's best clothing optional beaches. And if you decide to go, be sure to follow basic nude beach etiquette —no photos and try your best to be subtle with your people watching.Oh… and "clothing-optional" means you have a choice about whether or not to take off your clothes. "Nude" however means you either strip or get back in the car. But what fun would that be? You may as well still be shoveling snow.
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ProsperoMassachusetts
Fascinated by language, drawn to art, and utterly amused by everyone's naughty bits. Beyond that, I'm hundreds of years old and I live on an island. Read the play.
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